A small wedding is not just a “smaller” version of a big wedding.
A small wedding is a whole different way of doing things, which focuses on intimacy, flexibility, and personal values.
Maybe you’re envisioning a small backyard ceremony, an elopement in a beautiful destination with a few loved ones, or a micro wedding at a unique boutique venue.
Or perhaps you’re even thinking of something else that’s yet more eccentric.
Whatever the case may be, this guide will walk you through how to plan a small wedding, step-by-step – with all the beauty, joy, and meaning your heart desires.
What Makes Up a Small Wedding?
Before we begin discussing details, it’s helpful to define what makes up a small wedding.
Most people agree that a small wedding is between 10 and 50 guests, while some couples opt for even fewer guests, typically called micro-weddings or intimate weddings.
The defining factor of a small wedding is not only the number of guests, but the atmosphere — relaxed, personalized, and intentional.
Knowing how to plan a small wedding begins with acknowledging that you don’t have to follow every traditional rule.
Small weddings provide the opportunity for you to personalize almost every aspect of your wedding — from the timeline to the venue to the actual format of the day.
Once you release yourself from the idea that your wedding has to look a certain way, the process of planning becomes much simpler and much more enjoyable.
1. Define Your Values As a Couple
One of the greatest benefits of a small wedding is the ability to spend your money and time where you value most, as a couple.
Before securing any bookings, sit down with your soon-to-be spouse and have a heart-to-heart talk about what’s really most important to both of you.
Are you looking to have an amazing meal?
Is it the beautiful location, the heartfelt vows, or exceptional photography?
Is it something else entirely?
Your priorities will guide every decision that you make as you learn how to plan a small wedding.
If you and your partner prioritize food and drink, you may select a restaurant venue and spend more per guest.
If photography is your #1 priority, you may choose to simplify the decor and allocate more of your budget to a photographer whose work you adore.
Small weddings give you the flexibility to do this without feeling like you’re compromising on anything.
2. Develop Your Guest List Without Feeling Guilty
Finalizing the guest list is frequently the most emotionally charged part of wedding planning, but this is also where small weddings excel.
Rather than starting with everyone you could invite and then cut back, start with the people you truly want to attend your wedding.
These are the people who understand your story, believe in your relationship, and will contribute to the joy of your special day.
As you decide how to plan a small wedding, it is essential to establish boundaries early.
You should communicate clearly with yourselves — and if needed, with family — that your smaller guest list is not a personal rejection of anyone in particular (or anyone at all).
Framing it in your mind as a celebratory gathering for those closest to you, rather than an economical decision, can also help reduce stress and anxiety.
And that’s especially true if it really is about saving money.
Additionally, a smaller guest list provides the opportunity to spend quality time with each person in attendance, which many couples wish they had done at larger weddings.
3. Find the Perfect Venue for an Intimate Celebration
One of the most fun aspects of learning how to plan a small wedding is exploring the wide variety of potential venues available when you do not need to accommodate 150 guests.
Small weddings can take place anywhere: private homes, gardens, small bed and breakfasts, restaurants, art galleries, vacation rentals, and/or even national parks.
When selecting a venue for your small wedding, focus on creating the type of experience that you want to have.
Would you prefer a casual, family-style meal or a more formal seated dinner?
Do you see your wedding taking place indoors, outdoors, or a combination of both?
Many smaller venues feel cozier and more personal than larger spaces, and often, non-traditional venues are more affordable and/or flexible with lower numbers of guests.
Additionally, many smaller venues will allow for longer rental periods and/or less restrictive rules, so you can build your day out exactly as you want to.
4. Establish a Practical Budget (and stick to it!)
While small weddings are generally less expensive than large weddings, costs can accumulate rapidly if you do not intentionally control your spending.
However, since you are limiting the number of guests, you can often spend more per guest without going over budget.
Therefore, understanding how to plan a small wedding involves understanding where you are willing to splurge and where you are okay with simplifying.
Determine the total amount of money that you are comfortable spending for your wedding, then assign that amount to the various areas of your wedding based on your priorities.
Common expenses for your wedding include the venue, food and beverages, photography, dress/attire, and flowers.
Since you will have fewer guests, you may be able to eliminate or significantly decrease costs associated with large-scale decoration, transportation, and/or rentals.
Many couples discover that a small wedding can feel more upscale and luxurious, regardless of the total amount spent, since every detail was carefully selected.
5. Plan a Relaxing and Flexible Schedule
Larger weddings typically require highly structured schedules due to the fact that there may be multiple events occurring simultaneously.
You’re also more likely to be on some kind of a time crunch.
By contrast, small weddings can be quite relaxing with their comparatively looser and more flexible structures.
One of the most freeing epiphanies that often comes as part of learning how to plan a small wedding is that you realize you don’t have to follow a specific order of events.
You may choose to have a later afternoon ceremony and then enjoy a leisurely, multi-course dinner, or possibly, you may combine your ceremony and reception into a seamless and continuous experience.
Since you will have fewer guests, transitions will typically occur more smoothly, and delays will be less stressful.
And by having a good plan but remaining relatively loose with your schedule, you’ll be able to relax and savor the moments of your wedding day rather than continuously checking the clock.
6. Personalize Your Ceremony and Reception
Since small weddings provide the perfect opportunity to personalize your wedding, they also provide the opportunity to add meaningful and personal touches to your wedding day.
You may write more personal and heartfelt vows, read passages written by loved ones, or design a ceremony that accurately represents your values and your story as a couple.
As you determine how to plan a small wedding, consider ways to engage your guests in the celebration rather than simply observing it.
During the reception, you may personalize the experience through your menu, music, or seating arrangement.
Serving family-style meals, sharing toasts, or even setting everyone up at a single, long table can encourage conversation and bonding among your guests.
These types of experiences will create an environment in which your guests feel as though they are actively participating in your celebrating and memory-making, rather than just passively attending.
7. Keep Decorations Simple and Elegant
Decorations are yet another area in which small weddings offer great opportunities for creative expression and potential cost savings.
Since you will have fewer tables and less space to decorate, you will be able to focus on quality over quantity.
Rather than using elaborate displays, consider using a few statement pieces, such as beautiful floral arrangements, candles, or meaningful personal items.
As you learn how to plan a small wedding, realize that an intimate air can be, in its own way, almost a form of décor.
A beautifully set table, thoughtful lighting, and a consistent color scheme can greatly enrich the ambiance of a small space.
And usually, the venue and the people in attendance will create the majority of the atmosphere themselves, allowing you to keep your decorations simple, yet elegant.
8. Communicate Clearly With Your Guests
Communicating clearly with your guests is important when planning any wedding, but it is particularly important when planning a small wedding.
Your guests may have questions regarding why you’re opting for a small wedding as opposed to the larger one they may have been anticipating, and what they should expect.
By providing details through a wedding website or including information in your invitations, you can help alleviate any confusion.
As you learn how to plan a small wedding, remember that clarity builds confidence.
Consider communicating to your guests the tone of your wedding, your schedule, and any additional specifics (such as travel or accommodations) that may affect their participation.
Due to the smaller size of your guest list, you will likely have more opportunities for one-on-one conversations with your guests, which can add to the feeling of closeness and community surrounding your special day.
Re-defining Success
Ultimately, learning how to plan a small wedding is at least a little bit about redefining success.
A wedding does not have to be large, expensive, or traditional to be meaningful.
In fact, many couples believe that smaller celebrations are more intentional and reflective of who they are as a couple.
By identifying your priorities, choosing a guest list with thoughtfulness, and making good use of the increased flexibility, you can create a wedding day event that’s both captivating and deeply personal.
Whether your small wedding includes ten people or fifty, the most important thing is that it represents your sincerely-held values and marks the beginning of your marriage in a manner that’s true to both of you.
